Short Answer:
Most scholars hold that physical contact between unrelated men and women — including handshakes — is generally not permitted in Islam. However, interpretations vary, and exceptions exist in certain cultural or professional contexts.
A Closer Look
In many cultures, a handshake is a simple, respectful gesture — a sign of greeting, professionalism, or politeness. But for Muslims, physical contact with the opposite gender (outside of close family relationships) raises important ethical and religious considerations.
Islam emphasizes modesty (haya) and appropriate boundaries between genders. This includes guidelines for physical interactions. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) himself is reported to have said:
“I do not shake hands with women.”
— Sunan Ibn Majah, 28741
Based on this and other narrations, the majority of scholars — particularly across the Sunni schools of thought — conclude that physical contact with non-mahram individuals (those one could legally marry) is to be avoided.
Why Is It Discouraged?
There are two primary reasons:
- Preserving Boundaries: Islam teaches believers to guard themselves against situations that could lead to temptation or emotional intimacy outside of marriage.
- Following the Prophetic Example: The Prophet (PBUH) maintained clear boundaries even in matters of respect and leadership. When women gave him their pledge of allegiance, he accepted with words — not through physical contact.
Are There Any Exceptions?
This issue isn’t always black and white. Some contemporary scholars and Muslims argue that in non-intimate, culturally expected situations (e.g., a formal business meeting, medical setting, or diplomatic encounter), a handshake may be permissible to avoid embarrassment or offense — especially when the intent is clearly professional.
This minority opinion often references the principle of necessity (darura) or avoiding harm (darar). For example, if refusing a handshake would severely impact someone’s safety, livelihood, or dignity, an exception might be made — though ideally with an explanation of one’s beliefs when possible.
That said, most who follow the traditional view will kindly decline with a smile and brief explanation, often placing their hand over their heart as a polite alternative gesture.
Different Scholarly Views
Islamic scholars have offered varying interpretations on the issue of shaking hands with the opposite gender. While the majority view it as impermissible or at least strongly discouraged, others allow limited exceptions under specific conditions. Some permit it when a barrier (like gloves) is used, while others view it as makruh (discouraged) rather than outright haram. Below are insights from a range of scholars reflecting these diverse perspectives:
“My position on this is that it should be avoided as much as possible, but in and of itself it is not haram. And if it has to happen, then it’s not something that is necessarily sinful. We should avoid it, and the protocol should be that the opposite genders are not physically touching one another. But I think that it is makruh, it’s best to avoid. But it is not sinful to do so, especially when circumstances are forced on us such as a job interview or something of this nature. There are many ulama [scholars] who say that it is haram, and I respect that position and if you follow that position, that is fine as well.”
— Shaykh Dr. Yasir Qadhi2
“This happens in kafir countries, where they don’t have any restrictions. So, you will go to a meeting, a woman would extend her hand for you to shake hands with… You have to have the pride in your religion. You have to be proud of it. When you are committed to it, you simply tell people, ‘I can’t shake hands.’ Or, when you see a woman coming, and you know that she’s gonna reach out and try to shake hands with you just [put your hand over your heart] and greet her from a distance and take a step or two back. But, in worst case scenarios you simply say, ‘I apologize, I’m sorry, but my religion prevents me from shaking hands with [the opposite gender] out of respect.'”
— Shaykh Assim al-Hakeem3
[Are we allowed to shake hands with a non-mahram in a job interview?]
“The simple answer is yes… Generally, men and women do not touch each other in the Islamic context unless they are related to each other. But, for a job interview, this is a matter of circumstance. It is my understanding and my expectation that God will overlook that, because it’s not your purpose to seek sexual pleasure by touching the other person in this case. It is just a matter of convenience for the sake of the job interview to proceed to a discussion of one’s qualifications rather than to put an ‘X’ against the person right away as somebody who’s weird or unsuitable for the office environment.
— Shaykh Dr. Shabir Ally4
“Many people find this area quite challenging, especially in the workplace or when it comes to interview and, for example, other meetings. In Islamic law, shaking the hands or touching the opposite gender deliberately who is a non-mahram (i.e., not related in an Islamically defined way) is not usually permissible. This applies to both males and females. The exception to this is when we use gloves, or any other skin barrier. In that case, there would be no problem in shaking the hands. Other exception is if the person finds that by not shaking hands it will put them in a considerable harm or unbearable difficulty, in that case they’re allowed to shake hands to the extent of necessity only.”
— Shaykh Mohammed Al-Hilli5
“It is not permissible for a man to touch the hands of a woman who is not one of his Mahrams. It is not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between such as shaking hands from beneath a garment and the like. The same ruling applies to shaking hands with old women.”
— Shaykh Muhammad al-Munajjid6
As with many matters of Islamic etiquette, sincere scholars have differed in their interpretations based on context, methodology, and legal reasoning. If you’re unsure how to navigate this issue, consult a trusted local imam or follow the opinion of a scholar aligned with your school of thought. Whatever position you follow, maintaining sincerity (niyyah), humility, and respect for others can help uphold the spirit of Islam even in challenging social settings.
Key Takeaways
- ✅ Most scholars discourage handshakes between unrelated men and women to maintain Islamic boundaries.
- 🤝 Intent and context matter. Some allow limited exceptions in professional or unavoidable settings.
- 🧕🏽 Alternative gestures (like placing a hand over the heart) offer respectful ways to greet without physical contact.
- 🕌 Respect goes both ways. Muslims navigating this issue often seek a balance between religious integrity and cultural sensitivity.
💬 Comments
Have you faced a situation where shaking hands with the opposite gender was expected?
How did you respond, and how was it received?
Share your thoughts and experiences below — respectful discussion is welcome!
References
- Muhammad Ibn Majah, Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2874, https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah:2874. ↩︎
- Yasir Qadhi, “Can We Shake Hands With Someone Of The Opposite Gender?,” YouTube video, 2019, https://youtu.be/dQDYU-0tsco. ↩︎
- Assim al-Hakeem, “Pressured to shake hands with the opposite gender,” assimalhakeem, YouTube video, 2018, https://youtu.be/7XK4lDhl9A0. ↩︎
- Shabir Ally, “Q&A: Can Men and Women Shake Hands?,” Let the Quran Speak, YouTube video, 2017, https://youtu.be/aWMXRfyRHOQ. ↩︎
- Mohammed Al-Hilli, “When is Shaking Hands of Opposite gender allowed?,” Noor Islamic Education, YouTube video, 2022, https://youtu.be/NFGjL4wR5ZQ. ↩︎
- Muhammad al-Munajjid, “Shaking Hands with Non-Mahram Women,” IslamQA.info, Question: 21183, 2008, https://islamqa.info/en/answers/21183/shaking-hands-with-non-mahram-women. ↩︎